God is Such a Brat


Zeus was not having a good day and he made sure everyone knew it. The earth quaked, the heavens shook, and the oceans churned. Nobody, but nobody, was able to get a moment’s peace.

“JE-A-SUS!” Zeus bellowed.

“Whoa. Not my problem, OK? I got my own people to look to.” Jesus cautioned.

Zeus paced like an agitated cat. “Look at that, just look at that! I can’t even make a bolt of lightening that doesn’t look like…like…” he gesticulated at the white squiggle through earth’s dark grey sky. “What the hell is that, anyway?”

Hera smiled. “A piece of shit.”

“A GODDAMNED STREAM OF IT!” Zeus roared, the result of which were more earthquakes, a couple of tsunamis and one catastrophic volcanic eruption.

They call it Vesuvius these days, in honor of the Roman gods who heard Venus’ desperate call for help, sending Hercules to pacify the region from The Hill Which Vomited Out Fire.

“Zeus can be such a brat,” Jupiter sighed.

Mondays/Finish the Story: 6-8-15




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