My A-Musement

From the cover of

From the cover of “A Muse & A Maze”

“Good Evening, Ladies and Gentlemen!” My muse startled me. I didn’t know It was standing there.

“What’s with the intro?” I asked.

“Just a little fanfare,” Muse said.

“I don’t need to be entertained. I’m only bored, not looking for motivation today.”

“Sure, OK,” Muse shrugged. I resumed staring blankly out the window.

“How about you write something about the sunset.”

I frowned. “That it’s happening?” Muse did not respond.

“Try something else,” I said.

“I don’t want to.”

“OK! You and me, both.” Muse sat down on the couch, It’s eyes fixed on me.

“I’ll write a poem…” I threatened.

“That…” Muse trailed off, and smiled.

“That, what?” I asked.

“That would be new and different.”

“And bad…”

“And bbbbaaaad…” Mused giggled.

I reached for my laptop, opened a document and banged away at the keyboard for the next few minutes. With each phrase and sentence I wrote, Muse would giggle, at times laughing out right.

I stopped typing. “This isn’t a comedy,” I said.

“No, no it is not. Not anywhere near it.”

I glared at Muse. It stopped chuckling and reached for the TV remote.

“Leave it,” I said. Muse shrugged, and started channel surfing through the worst of the worst of the worst. I went back to typing. “Oo!” and “Ow!” and “AHA!” Muse exclaimed from time to time.

“Shut it!” I snapped.

“I’m not even paying attention to you. That ‘ooo’ was for those two women beating each other up. Have you ever seen this show? Man…”

I grabbed the remote and switched to one of the ever-present cable broadcasts of one of the Lord of the Rings movies. “I can ignore this just fine,” I said.

“That guy,” Muse said, “with all the hair, who plays the bad wizard, died, you know.”

“Long live the King,” I muttered. “Now, here’s my… whatever this is.” I flipped my laptop screen toward Muse.toothpaste haiku

“Looks like you made good on that threat.”

“Just… whatever. Just read it.”

I snatched the remote and un-muted the volume. The Frodo and Gandalf Show will just have to do.

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