Sunday Comics

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There’s nothing more wonderful than a good laugh, and there’s nothing more wonderful than a good laugh when you least expect it. Sunday morning at 6:12am would be when you least expect it.

Curled up on the couch with the laptop, sleep still fogging my brain, I start surfing the web for a new coffee maker (the one I’ve had for what seems like forever died this week, right in the middle of brewing a pot. One minute it’s on, the next it’s off, and that was that). Not wanting to assume that one coffee maker is as good as another, I decide to read the reviews of some makes and models, when I came across the following:

In a world where everything seems to be a complex computer controlled wonder—bluetooth this, Facebook that, timer whatsits, and i-Whatevers—this machine stands out. Why? Because it’s a $17 coffee maker. It does nothing special other than make coffee. And guess what, it actually does makes coffee.

Seriously, the most complex thing about its interface is the switch lights-up when it’s on. It couldn’t get any simpler. Your favorite coffee grinds plus water, wait 5 minutes, and blammo…coffee. And it costs less than $20. I would call this thing the greatest piece of technology ever, but that’s unnecessary and ridiculous, for it’s a coffee maker. All it does is make coffee.

To be fair, the plastic feels cheap, but I’m not taking this thing with me to the moon. I just expect it to make coffee and not try to kill me.

Do you need coffee from the comfort of wherever you are? Don’t want to spend $140 for bells and whistles you’re never going to use? You can’t go wrong with this gem, for it is a coffee maker, and it makes coffee. That is all.

 Of course I bought it.

I then moved on to perusing my usual online haunts. While it is unexpected to have a good laugh at 6:12am on a Sunday, it’s practically unheard of to have a second good laugh, let alone a third on a Sunday morning immediately following the one you’ve just had at 6:12am.

A former co-worker (CW) posted a couple of odd-ball status’ on Facebook the other day and his goofy group of friends (and CW’s wife) had some choice comments:

CW: I don’t mean to brag but I have Involuntary Bragging Syndrome (I.B.S.), so I have to (55 likes).

  • #1 – I don’t actually like that you have this condition, but I have Compulsive Liking Disorder.

  • #2 – PANCAKES (Involuntary Random Pancakes Comment Disorder)

  • #3 – You dropped something. Sorry. That was insensitive. I realize a side effect of IBS is loss of fine motor skills.

  • CW – Damn, dem motor skills are FINE

  • #4 -If you experience an emotion or thought that lasts longer than four hours dude you are so fukkin high right now

  • #5 – If you find yourself experiencing any of the following symptoms: excessive chest-puffing, horn-tooting, hot-dogging, grand-standing, swaggering, vaunting, or show-boating at inappropriate moments or without prior achievement, then YOU may suffer from IBS (no, not THAT one, the OTHER IBS). Ask your doctor about Deprecator ™, the proven, effective remedy to relieve the chronic symptoms of IBS. (NOTE: patients taking Deprecator under testing conditions have been known to suffer from anxiety, lackadaisicalness, lethargy, inertia, shyness, apathy, dopiness, ennui, low self-esteem, IBS (yes, THAT IBS), and in extreme cases, death. Take only as directed.)

  • CW’s Wife – Isn’t Involuntary Bragging Syndrome just another name for Facebook? Sorry, I suffer from Involuntary Clever Comment Syndrome.

  • #6 – Hardly seems something to brag about.

And then this bit from the day before that:

CW – REVIEW: 3rd urinal from the door, airport. No smell, so that was a plus! Nothing to read while I was doin’ mah bidniss but that’s ok. Great water pressure. When I was done a voice from the drain asked if I had enjoyed my experience and that was very thoughtful. But for some reason I said no and two giant hands came out and shook me. I was disturbed to say the least but it made me reflect on my life and I called my mom and cried (31 Likes).

  • #1 – This is a documentary?

  • #2 – That story was all wet. Did you jiggle the handle to make it funny? A lot of urinals are made in a factory in Flushing, NY.

  • #3 – We love that urinal; glad you got to spend some time there!

  • CW – no this is a doc-urin-mentary

  • #4 – “#3’s Exhaustive Guide to Airport Urinals”. Five stars on Amazon. “#3’s pungent prose enlivens an otherwise lukewarm topic. A hairy, hold-your-water journey into the river of darkness.” — Urology In Pictures, Micturation Publishing

  • #5 – Say no to drugs, CW.

  • CW – last time I said no two giant hands came out and shook me

5 thoughts on “Sunday Comics

  1. This is hilarious. Did you make it up or actually find it on Facebook? If you did, would you be willing to sell me your friend’s name and Facebook i.d.so I can prevail upon him to friend me? His Facebook friends are certainly more fun than most of mine!! And my friends would agree, the same is true about me, I’m sure.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. This is practically the only kind of post he does on FB. I will tell you he is a professional musician/writer/comic, but it’s from his personal FB acct, so I can’t share that info. Glad you enjoyed though! It’s why I posted.

      Like

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