Easter, Shmeaster

Allison opened the back seat door, picked up her summer hat, and with great effort, shoved the two daffodils she cut from her front yard through the woven straw of the hat. The giant yellow blooms stuck out at odd angles like alien insect antennae. It was the only way she knew how to show up to her cousin’s annual Easter brunch in the required Easter bonnet.

“You look great,” her husband Garrett said, with a you-look-stupid smile.

“F you” she mouthed. Garrett donned an oversized safari pith helmet, which sank below his eyes. He flashed another toothy smile.

“Much better,” Allison remarked.

Allison and Garrett’s sons were already out of the car and at the front door, banging away at it as if they were at the castle gates.

“That’s…stop it, guys!” Allison scolded as she and Garrett caught up to them. “So rude. Don’t do that!”

“MOM! They’re already doing the Easter egg hunt! God! We’re gonna miss it!”

“We’re sooooo late! It’s your fault! We won’t get any eggs!”

The door opened and a woman no one recognized smiled and ushered everyone in.

“Hi,” the woman said with an extended hand, “I’m Leena!”

“Hi Leena. We’re Allison and Garrett and …” Garrett started to introduce his children, but the boys were in the door, through the hall and out the kitchen to the back yard in a flash. “…and those are, well, were, ours sons, Gabe and Ben…”

“Oh! OK, so how do you know Barbara or Jerry?”

“We’re Barbara’s cousins. I mean, I am,” Allison said. “Barbara’s my cousin. Once removed, or something.”

“Well, then, we’re related! I guess. I’m married to Barbara’s sister’s husband’s brother,” Leena said with her index finger bouncing back and forth through the air.

“In-laws,” Allison clarified.

“Yes! That’s right! Love your hats!” Leena quickly segued, without taking breath. “Where’d you get that?” she asked Garrett as she hooked her arm in his, pulling him to the kitchen while obviously leaving Allison ten steps behind. “It’s so cool! Is it from Africa? I’ve never been, have you? Is that where you got it? It’s so cool!”

God, I hate Easter, Allison thought.

2 thoughts on “Easter, Shmeaster

    1. I was inspired to write this after going with my sister to a friend of her’s annual Easter brunch. People were generally having fun, but on some level, wishing they didn’t actually have to be there.

      Liked by 1 person

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